I think that my gut controls my brain!  I do better when my brain is calm.  My brain can not be calm when my stomach is upset!  I have had stomach issues since I was young!  I hope some day we can find the answer to my stomach problems!  I truly believe that will help my cognitive functioning!  I think my behavioral issues are stomach issues! 

I still am having struggles with verbal stimming! I will make constant vocal noises!  This gets worse when I am excited!  I would love to find a cure for that. Autism is so complicated!  I think the brain is a mystery to be explored!  So many problems can be cured by healing the brain!

This is a song made from my poem!  Stephan Carlson wrote the music.  Pease lsten!  Please please purchase it!  Proceeds go to RPM Support.   I’m on the Advisory Board!  RPM Support gives scholarships to people with autism to learn RPM.  Thank you for listening!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcFlQFAf93w&t=3s

Life is full of excitement and challenges when you are nonverbal with Autism! I know it is a challenge even if you’re verbal without Autism! We have unique challenges which others don’t. I can wake up and be hyperverbal, with no control of my mouth ! I don’t say words, just make sounds that annoy everyone including myself! Yet I can have great days where I am in full control of myself! Life is different each day! I had an awfull day two weeks ago and a great day yesterday! I wish I could figure it out! I do not like the unexpected parts of life! I guess I have no choice in that matter! I will just enjoy the great days for life does change!

My life is so full of emotional turmoil! Lately I can not stop making a humming sound!  I have no idea why I am doing this or how to stop it!  This weekend I was with my boyfriend who is very sensitive to noises. I tried to control my humming but it just made it worse! I was so angry at myself that I acted very foolishly! I embarrassed myself! I am not sure what is causing the humming. My mother thinks it is a tic and my dad thinks it is anxiety! I just want it to stop! Autism is so frustrating! Being nonverbal is frustrating! I know I will have better days, just not today. Frustrating!

I think people do not understand that autism is our disability but not who we are!  I have friends who have completely different interests and abilities then I do!  People either think we’re retarded or genius.  I am neither!  Just because we have autism does not mean we all have the same personalities and abilities!  I would hope that I can someday be judged by being a person, not an autistic person!

I am amazed how unpredictable life is!  With my autism, I need predictability as unexpected events are hard to deal with!  Yet we live in a world that is very unpredictable!  It makes it hard when people do not respond the way I think that they usually do!  Yet that unpredictability makes life interesting!  It may be confusing and at times difficult and disappointing, but still very interesting!

I read about one of the first known cases of autism, a girl named Virginia.  Virginia was put in an institution at the age of six!  I can only imagine how awful that had to be for her!  I think the biggest fear of all of us with autism is to be placed in an institution!  I think we need loving communities to live in and not institutions!

I’m trying to work really hard role modeling my staff!  Not listening to reason must be my anthem!  My friends must not be too upset!  My starting to laugh too loud gives them time off their tasks!  That makes everyone fun to work with!  Mostly for me!  It’s really fun how my staff works with everyone!

Life is always difficult to understand!  You never can predict what will happen from day to day!  I wish it would be more predictable!  I really enjoy the adventure but would like more predictability!  I also know we cannot experience joy and happiness without knowing sadness.  Life’s ups and downs make it worth living!